


take my hand (take my whole life, too)

by loopid



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Basically just a bunch of Oneshots, F/M, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I wrote this at 4am whoops, because everyone needs fluff after rogue one basICALLY DESTROYED ALL OUR FEELS, sorry the formatting is weird
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-13 02:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9101884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loopid/pseuds/loopid
Summary: Cassian's not loud. He's not going to wax poetic about how her eyes shine or anything. Instead, he prefers to show his affection for Jyn Erso in perhaps the simplest of ways; physical touch.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 4 am whoops. if there are any mistakes, feel free to force me to watch rogue one again bc that's pretty much the equivalent of falling over except emotionally.
> 
> ofc I made a spotify playlist for cassian bc I am a music nerd (link down below) and also diego luna is a bean. technically I started writing this on his birthday, so, happy birthday, brodood :D
> 
> ( https://open.spotify.com/user/lyzzyawesomeness/playlist/1dTjpbiufurNxTskeHsYus )
> 
> and, finally, I recommend clicking that "entire work" button up there, because most of these chapters are short etc.
> 
> enjoy!

   Baze lifts Cassian up onto his shoulders and Jyn is hanging onto Bodhi’s for dear life but that’s okay because Cassian is smiling at her – really smiling, and he smiled at her before, when they got the plans for the Death Star and were lifted off Scarif, but that was a smile of relief, like he couldn’t believe he was alive.

   This smile, it seems, is just for her. He smiles at her like she’s the only girl in the world, and Jyn grins back, but once they let her down and the party ends and everyone’s going back to their rooms, she allows herself to think that maybe, his smile meant a little more.


	2. Chapter 2

2a.

   The medbay is absolutely packed. Luke Skywalker had blown up the Death Star, but that didn’t mean everyone else had come home safely. The lucky ones were stuffed into the base on hospital cots, like matches in a box.

   Jyn doesn’t remember much after a blast took her jet down. Her vision was going out, and the best she could do was try to steer her ship back to the base. The last thing she remembers seeing is the flash of hyperspace going by before she fully lost consciousness.

   Thank the Force the hyperdrive was still intact.

 

   Next thing she knows, she’s in a dark room. Greenish light flashes in the wall, probably from the heartbeat monitors she finds herself – and many others – attached to.

   Instinct tells her to get up immediately, but she can’t. A neck brace is holding her back, not to mention the slight pain in her head when she does. She can turn her head slightly, however, which she supposes is fair enough.

   Her entire right arm is bandaged, and when she lifts it up to take a closer look, a wave of pain shoots up, and she almost loses consciousness again. Fortunately, it’s not a cast, because that would mean her arm was broken and she wouldn’t be able to fly for months. She suspects it’s a burn. It would likely leave a scar, but that’s okay because with her profession, long sleeves are a given, and Jyn doesn’t like wearing short sleeves anyway.

   Her left arm is more or less okay, because she doesn’t see any strange wires connected to it, and it doesn’t hurt to lift, which is definitely a good sign. Her legs don’t feel bad either, only slightly uncomfortable, so she rounds up her self evaluation with a burnt arm, a neck injury, and slight headaches.

   She checks her surroundings again. It’s pretty much just cots, cots, cots, as far as the eyes can see, crammed with about a foot and a half of space in between, enough for one, maybe two nurses to come in and out. The cot on Jyn’s right is empty, but the next few belong to humans, mostly, and a few creatures.

   The one on Jyn’s left is Cassian’s.

   He looks relatively okay. He doesn’t have a neck brace or a fully bandaged arm. It’s just the almost comical amount of gauze on his head that worries Jyn.

 

   “Hey.”

   Jyn almost falls out of her cot. She wasn’t aware Cassian was awake, which is kind of sad considering she spent the last ten seconds just silently observing him.

   “Hi, Cassian.”

    He rolls onto his side – well, as much as he can – and shoots her a sleepy smile. “You made it too?”

   He sounds a bit sluggish; he’s practically slurring and his accent, heavier than usual, makes it hard for Jyn to figure out his words.

   “Mmhm.” Normally, Jyn would try to crack a joke, try to lighten the mood a bit, but none come to her. And they’re so close anyways that she can see his eyes flutter shut, so she doesn’t bother.

   “Good,” he says, and takes a shuddering breath. “Good,” he says again.

   Jyn reaches her good arm out to him. “Hey, are you –“

 

   But he just takes her hand, and squeezes it, and it takes all of Jyn’s willpower to not fall out of bed again, because he’s holding her hand just like he did on Jedha – like they were both about to die, and maybe hand-holding was nothing special, but the similarities she can draw from both experiences hits her with a wave of nostalgia anyways.

   “Cassian – Cassian, don’t tell me you’re going to die and leave me like this –“

   He chuckles quietly. “Don’t worry, Jyn. As long as you’re okay, I’ll be fine.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically, this story is only going to be seven chapters. however, I might add more unrelated cassian/jyn oneshots if I ever write any more :)
> 
> also I'm totally open to prompts! no promises, though ;) I'd love to hear your ideas!

    Jyn does a final weapons check before she and Bodhi leave for Endor. “You all right up there?”

   “Yeah, everything in the cockpit seems good,” he replies. “We’re set to leave in a few minutes.”

   “Right on schedule, then.”

   “Cassian’s just outside, by the way,” Bodhi adds, almost teasingly. “If you need him, I mean.”

   Jyn rolls her eyes. “Thanks, Bodhi.” She says it sarcastically, but she’s glad that he told her anyway. “Don’t leave without me.”

   “You’re welcome!” he calls after her.

 

   “Hey,” says Cassian, once he sees her coming down the ramp. “I was just checking your ship for any malfunctions. How are you?"

   Jyn raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re qualified to do that? Last time I checked, you were a spy, not a technician.”

   He pretends to look offended. “A man can have dreams, you know. And anyways, I have a free day, so why not check on you and Bodhi?”

   Jyn huffs. “We’re not going to die, Cassian. We’re just checking on some things on Endor. We’ll only be gone for two days.”

   “So?” he says, shrugging. “Your ship could still malfunction. Have you ever seen a pod race? One little thing out of place, and it goes kaboom.”

   “If it makes you feel better, Bodhi and I will try our best to not die.”

   Cassian laughs. “Thank you, that makes me feel a lot better.”

 

   From inside the plane, Bodhi yells, “We are leaving in two minutes, Jyn! Just so you know!”

   “Thanks, I’ll be right up there!” Jyn replies. She’s one step up the ramp when Cassian taps her shoulder.

   “Hey, wait.” She turns around and it looks like he’s going to say something else, but decides against it. “Good luck,” he says finally. “Don’t do anything rash, okay?” And then he tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

 

   The temperature suddenly shoots up and it takes all of her willpower to not blush.

 

   “I’ll see you soon, Cassian. Don’t worry.” Jyn offers him a small smile and waves as the ramp rises.

   Once he’s out of sight, though, Jyn touches her ear and wonders why her heartbeat is going a little bit faster.

   Above her, Bodhi clears his throat. “Ready to go?”

   “Yeah, of course,” Jyn says, snapping out of her thoughts. She marches up to the cockpit and ignores Bodhi’s smirk as she straps herself into the co-pilot seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, guys!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys have any theories about Rey's parents, I'd love to hear them! Personally, I'm in love with the idea that Jyn and Cassian could raise Rey, but of course, that wouldn't be possible because asdfghjkl.
> 
> (on another note, wouldn't it be nice if everyone lived and leia and han had ben, and jyn and cass had rey, and shara and kes had poe, and idk, chirrut and baze could totally adopt finn (because mace windu jedi force whatever) and they have uncle luke and bodhi the surprisingly good babysitter, and it's all a big happy family and ben would never turn to the dark side and everyone would live happily forever after and aahhh I'm mentally crafting)

   It’s 2 in the morning and Jyn can’t sleep. She’s not sure why, because the ship’s beds are actually comfy for once, and her nightmares have pretty much stopped. It’s quiet and it’s dark, but after three hours of restlessness, she finally gives up.

   Carefully, she makes her way upstairs as to not wake Cassian. She tiptoes over Baze and Chirrut on the floor, and tells Bodhi to get some rest. He tries to protest, but Jyn insists, and nature’s clock eventually overwhelms him anyway. He’s so tired that he somehow falls asleep in the middle of a sentence.

   There is absolutely no way his pilot seat is a comfortable place to nap, so Jyn takes pity on him and finds a blanket. She then plunks herself next to him in the co-pilot seat, and –

 

   There’s a soft thunk downstairs and Jyn’s immediately out of her seat, blindly following the steps downstairs.

 

   To her surprise, Cassian’s also up, all of a sudden. He’s sitting on the floor, against his bunk.

   She frowns. “Oh, it’s just you. Sorry I woke you up.”

   He shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep either. I’m guessing that was why you were up there instead of down here?”

   She nods. “I told Bodhi I’d take his watch. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a year.”

   “It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?” Cassian pats the spot next to him, an invitation to sit. Jyn wriggles down next to him. He’s warm*, and Jyn rests her head against him without thinking. Tentatively, he wraps an arm around her shoulder and it takes all of her willpower to not snuggle in closer.

 

   Cassian smells soft. It’s a weird thought, and Jyn knows it, but there’s no other way to describe it. His scent reminds her of fluffy blankets and sheets that had just come out from the dryer and the stuffed toys she’d had back when she was a kid and before they’d taken her whole life away.

 

   “Where do you wash your clothes?” she blurts out, because it’s night-time and staying up late makes everything seem surreal.

   “Excuse me?”

   She doesn’t even have to look up to know that he’s raising an eyebrow. “Sorry, you just smell nice,” she mumbles.

   His chuckle reverberates through her body. I wash it like everyone else does,” he says. “I put all my clothes in a bin and I give the bin to the droids every week so they can wash it.”

   “Don’t lie to me, Cassian,” she replies, suppressing a yawn. She has no clue why sitting with Cassian is making her sleepy. Maybe it’s the late-night atmosphere. Her brain is pretty much fried after midnight, though, so she doesn’t dwell on it.

   “Why would I lie to you?”

   “You’re obviously using something else. My clothes never smell this nice.”

   “Hmm.”

 

   Pause.

 

   Then Cassian’s stroking her shoulder gently, carefully. 

   Almost like he was nervous.

 

   “Sometimes Kay takes my clothes for me,” he finally offers. “But I don’t see why he’d do anything to them. Especially not scent-wise.”

   “Mmhm, whatever you say, Cass,” she mutters.

 

   Another pause.

 

   “If you want, I can take your shift for you,” he adds.

   Jyn nods against his chest, more or less dead to the world.

   The last thing she hears before drifting off to sleep is Cassian’s heart beating beneath her.

 

   (her dreams are filled with fluffy blankets and soft pillows and warm beds that remind her of home.)

 

 

 

* * *

 

*(oh Cassian, you’re so hot, you’re like a stove)

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> RIP Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. Best wishes to Billie Lourd, who is undoubtedly going through some rough times atm.
> 
> *can't wait for 2016 to be over*


End file.
